Marriage and Children

Getting married, and having children, takes up a huge amount of your time, money, and mental energy. It is safe to say that your personal resources will take a substantial cut in what is available as “spare”.

There are also a large number of unknowns when you take the plunge into wedded life. You will learn things about yourself and about your spouse which you could not have foreseen. You will struggle through some major issues which threaten to tear your relationship apart.

Your ability to contribute to a church community or ministry will take a huge hit, and your “spirituality” will be exposed as so much weaker than you could ever have imagined.

Yet still, even though you might know all of this before-hand, getting married (and having children) is most definitely a Christian-spiritual thing to do. God-given and God-blessed decisions (marriage is a gift and a blessing from God) and trusting in Him to get you through, to take you to new places, and to bless you more abundantly than you could have thought (but struggling more than you could ever have guessed to do so); this is one of the biggest steps in developing yourself towards a better image of Christ that you can take!

It is well worth it.

On a person's bookshelf

Sometimes you can see the work of the spirit in a person's bookshelf.

Perhaps in the way they now organize their books, perhaps in the most recent additions to their collection.

Certain authors hold absolutely no interest for those in whom the Spirit works, and other authors are of no interest for those who are void of the Spirit.

If you see a Carson, a Lloyd-Jones, a Sproul, a Keller, a Piper, and perhaps one day even a Hight, there you will find a bookshelf owner in whom God works to demonstrate His glory!

The Struggle for Assurance

At some point on your journey in Christianity, you may come face to face with the possibility that you are not as 'saved' as you thought you were.  I thoroughly recommend this experience. Seriously.

Not everyone who follows Christ will find an agonising experience in working out their state of salvation, but everyone who is saved should consider this at some point (Philippians 2:12, 2Corinthians 13:5).  It is how you respond to this challenge to your 'faith' which speaks the most about your spiritual condition.

Some will shrug off these feelings casually, or by the power of their will ignore them.  Others will not be able to rest until they have an answer; and if it is nay, they will not rest until they have found salvation.

If you are struggling with assurance that you are Christ's and he is yours, take the time to pray to God for help.  Then reflect on your walk so far, and consider what the scriptures say about those who are saved.  The book of 1 John was written for this purpose, for you to know the truth of your position.  Read it, and search the scriptures ceaselessly, until you have an abiding assurance.

"I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life." - 1 John 5:13

The Outward and the Inward Person

The spiritual person is not different on the inside compared to the outside. The actions they do come forth from their changed being who resides within.

Whether you call this inner being the heart or the mind, it can be identified by your thoughts. Do your thoughts run to hate, but outwardly you practice kindness and love? Are your eyes drawn to lust and your mind entertains impure thoughts, but you would never act on your fantasies?

God knows your heart, your mind, and he can see your thoughts and intentions as easily as you can read these words. Easier even. He can see when your outward actions are really just a cover for the rot that resides within.

Strive for purity of mind and heart as well as purity of deed. Nothing can be hidden from your King, and nothing should be. He is the one to confess to and to seek help to improve. Seek Him in the privacy of your mind so that your heart and mind are redeemed by displacing the sin that you might find.

"Even in your thoughts, do not curse the king, nor in your bedroom curse the rich, for a bird of the air will carry your voice, or some winged creature tell the matter." - Ecclesiastes 10:20

Accountability and Humility

For a long time I thought that accountability practices were a waste of time.  Who needs an accountability partner when we should all be accountable to God?  After all, you can lie to an accountability partner but you can't lie to God, and God is more forgiving than any accountability partner could ever be!

 

While I still agree that it is good to be so aware of God's presence in your life that you don't want to sin because to do so would be to sin in His sight; it is a misunderstanding of the purpose of accountability to take this view.  It's also not very humble, because it assumes that you can actually manage to keep this ideal all the time, and that you know your own heart well enough to keep it under control.

 

Here's a few points for considering accountability: 

1. You're not perfect, and you can't always see your own mistakes, so someone looking in from the outside can be a help to you.  They can see where you are blind.  Scary though this is, if it's done with trust, you can only become a better person.


2. Accountability is not about "checking up" on each other, but about building one another up.  Instead of approaching it as a way to list your sins to each other, leading to negative reinforcement of that behaviour, approach it as a strategy development session on how to better overcome sin and its power over you.  Avoid grading yourself which is an end-point summary, and discuss your implementation of strategy with a view to improve instead - that is a life-long ongoing process.


3. It will be hard, because you are facing your darkest self and opening that up to another, but it is worth the effort.


4. Marriage should be the ultimate accountability that you have with another person.  It is the most open relationship that you can ever have, excepting that which you have with God.


5. Different groups which you associate with will be able to feed back to you different information about yourself.  This means that you shouldn't limit accountability to just one relationship.  In fact, every relationship and human interaction carries a measure of feedback to inform us how to improve.  If we watch those around us, and gauge their reaction to us, we will never be short of information to act and improve ourselves with.

 

And remember, it's all about God's glory.  If we fail to be the best that we can be, if we fail to use accountability relationships, then we fail to do our part to improve ourselves to the glory of Jesus Christ, our Lord - the One who we represent on earth.

 

What does it mean to prosper as a Christian?

Psalm One mentions that the Christian is someone who will prosper in all that he does.  What does this mean?  Does this mean that the Christian should be rich, with money to spare, not a financial care in the world?

 

Clearly not, otherwise many New Testament saints would have done much better than they did.  Paul the Apostle describes the poor saints in Jerusalem who required charity.  This did not make these, who were less physically prosperous, any less Christians.

 

So what does the scripture mean when it speaks of the Christian prospering in this psalm?  Well, just to confuse the issue a little, I don't think that financial prosperity is ruled out.  Whatever the Christian puts his hand to, this he will prosper at.  Consider the second verse of the psalm: "his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night".  With such wisdom behind his decisions, no man shall fail to succeed at whatever he puts his hand to doing.  Indeed, whatever he puts his hand to doing will be a wise choice, matching his God-given strengths and gifts.

 

Whether it be bringing up children as godly, financial planning for future security of your family, teaching young adults a reasoned view for the existence of God, or caring for your elderly parents; all of these things will propser at your hand.  If, that is, you seek God's wisdom and His will.  

 

Don't do it alone! (You can't anyway)

"Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain" - Psalm 127:1

 

Whatever you set out to do, whatever you set out to achieve, whatever you aim to accomplish - it will be a vain effort unless God is with you.

 

Two reasons why this is so:

Firstly, God is the power behind everything - supporting and upholding it. He is in control of the many interactions and "chance" factors which could cause it to remain strong or to tumble, brokenly. If He doesn't provide for something to happen, it won't happen.

Secondly, God's will is absolute. If you go against His will then you will fail. That's not really in this text, but it is true of any endeavour we set out upon.

 

What does that mean for the Christian who seeks to be spiritual in everything they do? It means they will seek God's will in everything - learning the scriptures diligently, and reflecting on their life's experiences to interpret those experiences through God's words. It means that everything they do will be attempted under the cover of much prayer for God's help, both in wisdom of decisions and in upholding and producing the fruit of any effort.

 

If you are leading a family, you will lead in vain unless you seek God's will for your family and ask Him to make your choices and efforts fruitful. Business owners, students, mothers, teachers, pastors, missionaries, politicians, doctors, nations, governments... all need Him.

 

Does God need to be worshipped?

Of course not.  God doesn't need anything outside of Himself.  He provides everything that He requires in His very being.

 

That isn't to say that you don't need to worship Him...

 

See what's happening with these two ways of looking at the need to/for worship? One is God's need, and He doesn't need anything because He provides all that He "needs" in Himself. That could be very contradictory if you take it the wrong way, but that's not the focus of what I'm saying.

 

The other is your need. If you don't worship God, then you are broken, fallen, unredeemed, unregenerate. You really need to learn to worship God. If you can do so, it will fix you, raise you, redeem you, and regenerate you. You will become a new creation in Christ. Someone who has seen something of God and can't help but share that glorious sight and change yourself to become like it (at least in part). That is worship, and an encounter with God is necessary.

 

If you can't worship, ask God to reveal Himself to you, that you might speak of the wonderful things He has done for you.

 

What form does your hope take?

There are two ways to look at hope:

1. A worldly hope which is based on a desire alone


2. A Christian hope which is based on the promises of One who can deliver

 

The first looks like this: You see the "cool things" in the world, or you see people who are better off (financially, health-wise, suffering less) and you really want what they have.  You think about it all the time and you believe that you would enjoy life more if you had what they have.  You might buy a lottery ticket in the hope that you could win money and solve many of these problems.  You might even work long hours, sacrificing much, in order to get ahead and achieve what you hope for.

 

The second looks like this: You see the "cool things" and those who are better off, but these things are not your main desire.  What you want is to be free from yourself, and the sinfulness and weakness in your flesh which drags you down.  You want your children to grow up to be wise.  You would like good (physical) things for your family but you realise that these things are not the be-all-and-end-all, that you can work hard and still not guarantee the acquisition of these things.  Instead, you trust God to give you all that you require, and if he chooses to give you little now it is still more than you deserve.  In the long run, God will grant you eternal life, filled with everlasting joy in the presence of the Lord, because you trust in Him to save you.  for now, you hope to faithfully represent your God, becoming closer in nature to Christ, your saviour.

 

The second is trusting on One who has all of the power to deliver exactly what you need to achieve everything that you should hope for... and more!  If God can make a universe, He can grant me all that I hope in Him for.  If you trust in yourself, your hope is empty.

 

"I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth." - Psalm 121:1-2

What makes you rejoice?

What makes you unexpectedly excited and spontaneously explodes you with happiness?  The things which have this effect in you are a good indicator of whether you are a Christian or whether you are fooling yourself (or pretending for the eyes of others).

 

If you never find yourself excited about a loved one making the right moral decision, or their growth in personal discipline and contemplation of godly matters, then you clearly don't consider these things important.

 

Are you more excited when the latest gadget is released? Or do your worldly concerns overpower and you want a pay rise to end your financial struggles more than you want to see your children learning to look to God for help?

 

Do you constantly seek God?

 

Yet, it is a journey of formation - your sanctification. If you find these things hard to get excited about, but you want to be excited about them, then ask God who gives all things to us through Jesus Christ our Lord.

 

What must a person do to be saved?

Depending on how you look at it, there could be two ways to answer this question.

 

If you look at it from a theological point of view, removed of human passions and emotions, focused solely on what is happening at the moment of conversion, then you might answer as follows:

"Nothing. A person can't actually do anything to be saved. God causes a person to be born again. Nothing a person does can contribute to that. Even faith is a gift from God."

 

If you look at it from a more personal, front-line, emotional, practical, point of view, then you might say something like this:

"If you have heard the gospel, the proper response is to believe it in faith and to turn away from doing and thinking the things which you know are wrong.  You must now live in the way that you know Jesus would want you to live. Copy him and live for him."

 

These are both correct responses, but we can get caught up trying to be either too practical or too theological. We must remember that a new believer will likely struggle with the deep theological significance of what is happening to them. For them, they need a simple call to action as Jesus demonstrated:

"Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.” " - Mark 1:14-15

Yet at other times, a theological focus is needed, as Paul demonstrates with his letter to the Ephesians:

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. " - Ephesians 2:8-9

 

As always, what has actually happened is that a person has been born again by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Their faith and actions of repentance are the fruit of the new creation that they have become.  Yet it is a truth that Christians need to be called to both faith and repentance, at times.  This is an important role of the community of believers in building one another up in Christ, to his glory.

 

How was Christ revealed to you?

"What do you mean by this question of how Jesus was revealed to me?" you might ask.

I am talking about the point in your life when Christ and his work became real for you. The time when it actually started having an effect on your attitude and character development. The time when you were born again.

The Apostle Paul was fortunate enough to have Christ revealed to him by Jesus himself, knocking him from his horse and speaking to him directly. This was definately a special case and is not to be considered typical for the average Christian. Paul's special ministry needed special revelation.

Jesus said that he would send the Holy Spirit and that the Spirit would bear witness of him. Bearing witness means that the Spirit brings conviction that what you read about in the Bible of the life of Christ, that these things are true. This leads to faith in the person of Christ.

This is the revelation that is given to every Christian, to know the truth about Christ. Whatever the circumstances of your conversion, no matter how great or simple the events that lead to it, the Spirit was there and was working to open your heart to understand and believe the gospel.

How amazing it is to know that God Himself has spoken directly to you, and worked directly within you, to reveal His Son to you. Praise his glorious name!

The Future

Do you worry about the future? If so, how much do you worry? What is an unhealthy amount to be focused on the trials which will inevitably come?

It is certainly not a bad thing to consider the future. After all, you must plan ahead to be an effective leader and contributor to your family and community of believers. You can't help but consider the future when you think about dealing with your own death, avoiding unnecessary conflict, or learning what triggers your sinful habits.

There is a sense in which we need to consider the future every day. If we sin every day, or at least face temptation every day, or need anything at all everyday, then we must pray for God's help every day. This is looking to the future wisely.

The wrong way to look at the future is when you lose heart at the things that you will battle. When you look ahead and see the sin to come (and it is likely you will regularly sin until the day you die - not habitually though), and if this looking ahead produces despair or robs you of your trust in Christ, then there is something wrong.

We serve a great God who is sovereign over all things, including the future. He has the power to get you through and to ensure that you do not face anything stronger than you are able to bear. Your visions of the future should be tempered with this knowledge, allowing you to walk in the joy of faith in Christ your deliverer.

What matters the most?

Good works can have ulterior motives and will always be tainted by our fallen flesh in this life. This makes them not-good.

Actions that are wrong, despite the best of intentions, are always wrong. Failure to act with appropriate guidance or wisdom.

So if our intentions are not enough, if our good deeds are flawed also, what really matters when we are trying to be saved or trying to be spiritual?

Trying is the problem. It is God's work, not ours. The most important thing is that God has done something in your life - that He has made you into a new being and that you are now born again by the work of the Spirit!

Such a thing is a major action by God. If you haven't seen evidence of a major change, in keeping with this major action by God, then there is trouble... Either you are not really a Christian, you lack assurance, or you are so unobservant of the glory of God in your life that you should be afraid of how you will face your Lord when it is your turn to stand before Him.

Make sure of it: that you understand the work of the Lord in you being born again. Speak of His glory!

The Golden Rule

"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets." - Matthew 7:12

 

One thing this passage does not say is that you should do to others what they do to you.  It might seem at a rough glance that this is exactly what is being said, but not if we look closely.

 

An example:  A friend hits you in the face, knocking you down, and steals your wallet.  Should you do the same to him before he can hit you?  Apart from the obvious problem of not knowing what others are going to do to you in advance, it is easy to see that this is how violence escalates and society crumbles.  What if everyone started harming others and taking what they wanted because they expected others to do the same to them?

 

The Golden rule says to do to others what you want others to do to you.  If you want gifts given to you then you should give to others first.  If you want others to speak nicely to you, you should be aware of your words toward them first, ensuring that you speak positively.

 

If you were ignorant of the truth, would you want others to share with you the good news of everlasting life through the Lord Jesus Christ?  Well then...

Compartment Syndrome

Compartment syndrome is a blood circulation problem where the part of the body (compartment) affected has severely reduced circulation, potentially leading to the death of that part.  Depending how we look at it, this can provide a positive and a negative analogy for the Christian faith.

 

Negatively: If we compartmentalise our faith, reducing it to influencing only one part of our life, then it is likely to die.  A doomed faith.  This is because our faith must be applied in all of our life, and there is a certain feedback from the faith-life interaction which stimulates our faith to grow further.  Real life provides challenges to our faith which will make that faith stronger when we face them head on: questions of doctrine and evolution, difficult circumstances, happy times when we rely less on God for help...

 

Positively: If we cut off the circulation to the parts of our life which don't fit in with our faith, the parts which are sinful, sinful, sinful - then we can kill them off.  Remove the sinful bits by starving them of fuel.  Plucking out our eyes which cause us to sin (metaphorically) by not setting any evil thing before us to view.

 

On an ever-so-slightly related note, you should check out the audio resources of one of the greatest preachers of the only great God: Dr. Martyn Lloyd Jones 

See if you can guess the link between the good Doctor and the rest of this post!  Answers in the comments.

Should you be surprised at the depravity of the world?

As a spiritual Christian, no, you shouldn't.  But why not?  Here are two good reasons:

 

Firstly, because the bible is clear that mankind is fallen and corrupt.  Our evil natures are illustrated over and over again in scripture.  If you are familiar with even a few of the vile deeds recorded from history via God's word, it should come as no surprise when you see it today.

 

Second, because you should know yourself.  Your dark self.  You have come from depravity and into the light.  If you don't think you are (or have been) capable of such depths of depravity as you witness in the world, then you haven't reflected on your sin nature, your old self, as much as you should have.  

 

Now, that is not to say that you will not be offended and shocked in a sense.  Your walk with God sees you moving further and further away from your old life and closer and closer to the beauty of Christ.  When cold, dark reality appears and sucks away the warmth of your contemplation of Christ, it will be like cold water on your face.

 

And, lest you believe yourself better than others who seem more sinful, it always does good to remember that: "but for the grace of God, that would be you."  

 

Knowing versus Applying

Anyone can "know" the facts.  The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience...

Anyone can speak the gospel.  Jesus died on the cross for the sin of the world; trust in him to take the punishment for you and turn from sin...

Anyone can quote the bible.  "God is love"

 

But not everyone can believe this knowledge in their heart and live it.  It's just not "real" to everyone and it just doesn't matter enough to everyone.  These people might even try to apply this knowledge but they just can't because they lack the power of the Holy Spirit.

 

Thank God if you are saved and pray earnestly for those who are not.

 

Do you aim to please people or God?

Or maybe a bit of both, but where you start (pleasing God before people or people before God) is important.  When it comes right down to it, if you will bow to the expectations of other people instead of doing what you know will please God, that's really bad.  It's not a good sign for you and it is doubtful that you are really a Christian.

 

It's good to want to please people, to serve them, to help them.  But what if they want you to do something bad?  Fit into the crowd, go along with the church leaders on pressure tactics for tithing strategy, buy some alcohol for underage drinkers, share that juicy piece of gossip, watch that dodgy TV show...  These things are not pleasing to God and you are compromising your witness to unbelievers by associating with them.

 

If you start your day praying something like the words below, you will have God behind you and you will be reminded of your number one priority for the day: Glorify your Saviour and Maker.  But remember that the fallen human is tricky too.  Check your motives because you might just try to get people against you so that a different group of people will see you being "persecuted" for the faith.  This is a different side of people pleasing which is just as evil.  Your motivation for any people pleasing should be love, and in this you will be pleasing God (if you love Him first).

 

"Lord, help me to keep my mind on you and your will.  Help me to please you this day by walking in your ways.  May my walk be a witness to your Glory and may I catch myself if I act to please people in a way that compromises my main purpose of sharing your glory.  Help me to believe that this is important and not just pray it so that I can say I prayed it.  Amen"

 

Before and After: There will be obvious change

Someone loses a heap of weight, someone else begins a new exercise regime, another goes into rehab for drug and alcohol abuse.  These are all good changes to make in your life but they don't guarantee a spiritual change that comes with salvation.

 

Don't get me wrong, there will be obvious change.  The things I've mentioned above may be a part of that, symptoms if you like, but the change is not the individual actions so much as the attitude that leads to continual change for the better in the spiritual person's life.  

 

A percentage of people who pick up a self-help book will change as I described above.  The Christian difference is that it is not self-help, it is God-help.  He initiates it, He sustains it, He makes it happen and go on happening until you die or Jesus returns.

 

The obvious change will always include love.  And not the selfish love that is prevalent in single adults who sacrifice all of the great blessings of God to shape themselves after the latest self-help guru.  Spiritual love will embrace God's blessings (which often come as challenges) and will sacrifice selfishness to be changed by the Spirit.

 

Look for it and you will see it.  If it's not where you look, it is doubtful that the Spirit (and salvation) is present...